She Said...

Before we set aside the topic of April Fools’ Day for another year, there’s a little story I’d like to share with you in the hope that it will give you a chuckle as it did with me.

A few years ago, the Director of the Tribune received a very interesting phone call. Sr. Procoro was the General Director back then, when we first published the article that was reprinted in last week’s issue (April Fools’ Day) of the Tribune. As soon as the paper hit the streets, he was contacted by some high up exec of Seapal (they’re the folks who run the potable water and sewage treatment plants in Vallarta). This gentleman was extremely upset at the article entitled «Dangerous Chemical Found in Puerto Vallarta» on December 28th, 2005 - The Día de los Inocentes. Now you may remember that the Día de los Inocentes is the equivalent of our April Fools’ Day. This was clearly explained at the very beginning of the issue. In addition, the author of that article -and a few others sprinkled throughout the paper- was a certain «John Innocent». As you may have noted last week, the «dangerous chemical» mentioned in the title of the controversial (?) article in question referred to water, H2O, a.k.a. dihydrogen monoxide in chemical terms… pure water. Anyways, once I had explained - i.e.: translated - the article to our director, he got as good a laugh from it as I did. I never did find out how his subsequent conversation with the exec went, but that’s what happens when people who are not fluent in a particular language jump to conclusions…

When I went back to our archives to find the original article, I came across the following:
«Good news: according to an article published in the media last week, one of the municipal Department of Culture’s eleven New Year resolutions involves «a new distribution of information strategy to increase the potential of spreading cultural information in our town». Manuel Santana Encarnación, head of the Department, considers that the point «will receive more attention»… I sure hope it means that they will notify the «foreign» media of the events they have planned with a little more than 4½ hours’ notice. That would be super.» That was over two years ago and we’re still waiting.

We just received the April newsletter from our sometime contributor, Barbara Peters, owner of Galería Vallarta. In it, among other interesting tidbits, she writes: «Be sure to go to the Isla Rio Cuale on Sunday, April 6, for an all day concert by various musical groups dedicated to ecology and the preservation of the few green areas we have left in the downtown area … The group hopes to stop further encroachment of vendor stands on the island - which have ruined the former peaceful walk through a park-like area on the island. Why we need more vendor stands which all sell the same stuff and are unfair competition to stores who pay rent, taxes, social security, utility bills and wages is beyond me, especially since they do not sell for less than established stores and do not mark their prices.»

Well said, friend! I hope many of you attended the event, and I hope the residents of this beautiful town will do what must be done in order to preserve that one and only green space left in the heart of town.

A propos, I happened to stumble upon an updated Google Earth satellite map of Vallarta, much clearer than the previous one. What made me smile was that the person who did it must have taken for granted that streets in this town were similar to those in other towns, i.e. grid-like and continuous. Unfortunately, such is not the reality (which is one of the reasons why I moved here to start with). Streets on the south side stop when they meet a cliff and then continue on the next level up - sometimes with the same name, and sometimes not. Some streets continue in a totally different section, as if the two or three blocks -or the mountain- in between, did not exist. But that is how it is.

Anyways, getting back to Google’s version of this part of the Earth, its Puerto Vallarta map has those streets running uninterrupted from the shore all the way up the mountain. Heaven help those visitors who decide to print out that map to use while they’re here… They’re sure to get hopelessly lost, just as we did when we first moved here and believed in the maps we were given.

And about traffic… Now that the madness of the Easter holidays is over, the town has returned to its normal status, we can find parking spots, the ambiance is quieter, and once again, the breathtaking primavera trees are showing off their amazingly bright yellow blooms all over town, along with their companions, the amapas trees. They’re the ones with the big pink blooms. Now, all we have to do is relax for the next few weeks, when the hoopla will start all over with the traditional festivals, festivities and holidays of the month of May.Until then, I wish you a fabulous week, stay healthy and happy. Hasta luego. Email me at pvmom04@yahoo.com