She Said...

September 23, 2007

It was all arranged, everything had finally fallen into place: a good friend had agreed to stay at my place to take care of it and the menagerie that comes with it, and two others had kindly offered me a ride to the city of Colima, capital of our neighboring state to the south (also called Colima), where we would attend the big ceremony led by that state’s Governor. The Guv would officially welcome those of us -foreigners- who have received our Mexican citizenship, then meet El Grito the night of September 15, 2007, Mexico’s Independence Day.

But, it just wasn’t meant to be.

As I logged on to confirm my room at the hotel in Colima, I found an email from their Department of Foreign Affairs, notifying me that the entire event had been cancelled, postponed until further notice… No further information was given.

So, instead, we decided that we would celebrate right here, in Party Vallarty, and Bonnie Sumlin, the lady who facilitated the voyage through the labyrinth of bureaucratic tape for those of us who wanted to acquire Mexican citizenship, would drive up here with Hugh, her husband, and the new President of the HELP! Association. We decided to hold our mini-event at El Arrayan. After all, this is the place that was voted Best Mexican Restaurant in the annual Readers’ Choice survey, three years in a row. You can’t get more Mexican than that - especially on Independence Day!

Needless to say, we had a fabulous time, everyone let their hair down and joined in the fun, costumes, games, the Frijoleros’ super music, and of course… great food! Including the pozole and Chile en nogada that Carmen has become famous for.

There was work being done on one of the houses in front of El Arrayan, so the owners had set up a plank of wood on two pails filled with cement. I figured that no one was going to work on Saturday evening, so I moved the whole thing and parked. I guess the spirit of the day didn’t permeate that particular household, ‘cause by the time the evening was over, I found that they had stolen my rear view mirror from its casing on the driver’s door. Oh well, Viva Mexico! I guess I can’t complain. That mirror did survive seven years without breaking or being broken…

Talking about façades, our friend Marcia, the lady who fought so hard last year to retain the parks in this town, told us a great story on Thursday evening, at Langostino’s weekly Charity Bingo. It was about her latest adventure at Banamex. As an account holder at that bank, she had gone in to request a debit card. When she got to the wicket, the teller had to fill out some sort of application form to initiate the process. Among the questions she asked Marcia was: a) how many windows she had in her house, and b) what color its façade was. In view of all the ATM scams that have taken place around here recently, we spent a good deal of time trying to figure out what importance her answers held, and how they would affect the outcome of her request. Curiouser and curiouser…

We experienced another curious happening this past week. We went to see Hairspray at Cine Versalles (excellent espressos and frappuccinos ... ) It turned out that my friend and I were the only two souls in the entire Sala 2. Sure, I’ve been to movies where there were only a few couples, but to be the only two women in that huge empty hall really felt weird. We decided we could basically do anything we wanted, talk as much as we wanted …but we didn’t ‘cause we were both either grinning or laughing out loud throughout the movie, to the point that our faces hurt when it was over. What a delightful film! What neither of us understands is why, when we went to see The Bourne Ultimatum, there were a whole bunch of couples with little ones, including babies, in the audience. And some of those babies were anything but quiet during that excellent, but very violent film. We have to show our "Senior Citizen" card to get our discounts, so why don’t those babies have to show their IDs to prove that they’re old enough to get into a PG-13 or -15 movie?

The drive home through the lagoons left along Francisco Villa Avenue by that evening’s rainstorm was something else.

And of course, how could an entire week go by without a TelMex anecdote? On Friday, two men began drilling a hole in the street in front of my house. I asked them what they were doing, to which they answered: "Digging a hole." :"Yes, I can see that," I said, "but for what purpose?" "To install a post." "Who are working for, the CFE?" "No, TelMex." "Oh, so why would you want another post when you have one two meters away?" "I don’t know, ma’am, we just do what we’re told to do." They sunk a wooden pole into the hole they had dug, and left. But the pole was not straight. It was leaning, like the tower of Pisa once it had been propped up a bit a few years ago. So I called to report the shoddy workmanship, and after trying four different numbers, I finally got the right department. The woman who took my call just laughed at me. I guess she couldn’t visualize how irritating it is to look at a leaning post against all the surrounding truly vertical objects, like the CFE’s cement post right behind it and the «old» wooden post two meters away, not to mention the houses.

The following Wednesday, two other TelMex employees showed up to remove the wires from that now-obsolete post and attach them to the new, leaning one, leaving the old one naked, unwanted. And then they too left. Once again, I tried the various phone numbers from my cell phone (as they had disconnected my land line to accomplish their oh-so-important transfer) only to find out two things: a) in case of an emergency, you cannot dial the various numbers from a cell phone, and b) any complaint such as mine must be made in writing, and delivered in person at the TelMex office. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Never a dull moment in paradise!

Happy Birthday to all the beautiful, balanced Libras out there -including all my children- and to the rest of you, I wish a most wonderful week. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

posted by Anna Reisman @ 12:16 PM 0 Comments

September 16, 2007

First of all, I want to thank all of you who have been kind enough to email me with your positive comments regarding my blog (the address is at the end of this column). It is always so nice to receive compliments, especially from folks who aren’t even here!

Lots of happenings in my life this past week, contrary to the last few. It was one of those rare times when there was something on my agenda every day, passing through the remembrances of September 11th and ending with the Jewish New Year celebrations - very exciting indeed!

Saturday the 15th, a whole bunch of us - new Mexican citizens and "foreigners" - are going to celebrate El Grito at Carmen Porras' El Arrayán. We've been told she's going to have mustaches and sombreros and all the accoutrements for all her guests. Should be a lot of fun - and great food. I'll tell you all about it next week.

I was moved when I heard that U.S. Ambassador Garza said "Some have suggested it is no longer appropriate to commemorate 9-11; that six years have passed and that we should now let it go. I say we must remember history, to avoid repeating it." The Jewish people have been saying that for the last 60 years…

Getting back to the here and now, first there was the «excitement» of having to drive around town with what seemed to be all the streets either totally closed off or reduced to one lane. You can just imagine the traffic jams that caused.

What surprised me is that during all my comings and goings, I did not see a single workman near any of the piles of cobble stones that were blocking the lanes, ready to be installed.

Once again, I marveled at the wisdom of our Public Works Department who decided to do all that work, all over town, all at the same time - in the middle of the day, when traffic is at its heaviest.

On the other hand, I shouldn’t be surprised considering that they undertake similar projects in the height of the high season, seriously affecting the businesses that depend on passing traffic during those months of the year for their income - and cushion for the meager months.

Once last week’s issue of the Tribune had been put to bed, I had dinner with a most interesting newcomer to PV, an American lady who’s lived in Guanajuato for the last two years, and who -I hope- will become a regular contributor to our paper in the fall. We went to Joe Jack’s and scoffed on what are still the best fish ‘n chips in town. But you’ve got to check out their new menu format; it’s one of those folded-up types, with lots and lots of fun information and drawings inside (apart from the menu of dishes per se), and they’re meant for you to take home. We sure got a kick out of it.

Thursday, I figured I would return to my bank, Santander, to try my luck -for the Nth time- at acquiring one of their credit cards that grants frequent flyer points on all the charges… (It had become a question of principle by now). The branch manageress told me that there should be no problem this time, and I should be receiving it within three weeks... I parked in the Benito Juarez Parking Plaza next door.

Six days later, I received a phone call from Santander's main branch on Mexico Ave. telling me my card was there, and why had I not gone to pick it up? Go figure.

Thursday was Charity Bingo night (see separate note) and Friday I got together with Maximiliano IV’s Regent with whom I had dinner at Espresso - excellent food and service, as always, and super stimulating conversation. Afterwards, the Regent and I went over to Starbucks for that decadent dessert only they offer: the Triple Chocolate Cake. Ohmygoodness!

By that time, I had been at the Benito Juarez Parking Plaza three times already, and I ended up joking with one of the attendants about the fact that never, since the place opened a year ago, have I ever been there that at least one -if not all- of the machines wasn’t out of order.

These times, I got to witness a number of the possible permutations and combinations. One time, it was the ticket dispensing machine, then it was all three machines (including the payment one) and the last time, it was only the payment machine that was fuera de servicio. There was a superb, huge moth-type butterfly just sitting there, like a decorative touch to the out-of-order sign. Of course, I did not have a camera with me, so I can’t share its beauty with you.

Oh yes, the big highlight: After two years, I finally made it to the Vallarta Zoo! I heard that there were two panther and two tiger cubs there, at that perfect age when they can still be handled by human strangers without reacting in a nasty fashion. If you haven’t visited the place yet, I highly recommend it. Wear comfortable walking shoes and bring plenty of bug repellent with you! They’re charging $60. Pesos per person regardless of age, and you can also buy all sorts of souvenirs, snacks, drinks, food for the animals (good idea!), etc.

Although I’m very ambivalent when it comes to zoos, I do applaud the fact that their animals are obviously well fed and cared for, though I do believe that they should invest a little more in providing those creatures with some sort of diversion so they do not bore themselves to death in their barren cages…

On the way out there, we noticed something extremely disconcerting: El Nogalito set up a humungous sign by the entrance to that site that says "Botanical Gardens", with a huge arrow pointing left. What chutzpah! And so confusing to visitors who have heard about our real, original, huge and ever more beautiful Botanical Gardens over the last two years. I hope the owners of the latter have that sign taken down A.S.A.P.

Another "new beginning" last week was the presentation of the Tribuna de la Bahía's new format. That is our sister publication, the Spanish language daily whose billboards you might have seen all around town.

The new format is interesting, definitely more modern. Now all they have to do is find a way to print their photos -and ours- in a way that they don't come out all black...

I've also been told that now the new directors will be setting their sights on the Tribune. We'll see what innovations they come up with.

Not surprisingly when we take world actuarial figures into account, there’s been an increasing amount of internet and other media items directed to the growing baby boomer market. I came across one in particular which I would like to share with you. It was sent to me by gimundo.com, entitled "For Seniors, Bad News Isn’t So Bad":

"OK, so a lot of stuff about getting older isn’t so great. Your joints are creaky, your back hurts, and those horn-rimmed bifocals aren’t exactly the height of fashion.
But you know what the good part is? The older you get, the less any of these little things will bother you. The big things, too – according to a new study, the more liver spots you have, the less sleep you’ll lose over all the atrocities of the day.
In the study, psychologists rounded up a group of participants ranging in age from 18 to 81, and hooked them up to electrodes that measured their brain’s responses to visual stimuli. As images ranging from adorable puppies to horrendous car wrecks flashed across a screen, the psychologists measured each participant’s reaction by tracking his brain wave activity.
For the younger members of the group, brain activity went into overdrive each time they saw a negative image. No surprise there – who do you think are the people buying tickets to all those blood-and-guts horror movies?
But among the stately elder members of the study group, even the most horrific images barely registered on the scale. When we reach a certain point in our lives, it seems, we learn how to let all the bad stuff slide off our shoulders, and just sit back and relax.
Sure, there are always exceptions (your mother-in-law, perhaps?), but for most of us, once we reach the golden years, it’s all good from there."

So don’t forget to do your crosswords and sudoku regularly, dear reader. Keep your brain active!

In the meantime, L’Shana Tova to all our Jewish readers, and a most enjoyable week to all. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it." - Mahatma Gandhi

posted by Anna Reisman @ 4:24 PM 1 Comments

September 9, 2007

The World Wide Internet is a wondrous thing indeed. From the little bit I pretend to understand about it, I see that it is expanding geometrically, a little akin to the Big Bang. I have no idea how it can continue to do so without reaching some sort of limit, or imploding, but I don’t really think that it will do me any good to worry about it, considering that such abstract thoughts are way beyond my own limitations.

One of the things the internet offers us is the ability to see our little planet from the satellites’ viewpoints (www.wunderground.com) After Hurricane Dean made landfall in Veracruz and headed west our way, we could see the immensity of it clearly. It covered most of this country, from the east coast to our west coast. No one said a word. CNN was no longer interested as Dean had spared the US so it disappeared as a newsworthy item, and the local (i.e. Puerto Vallarta) media pretended it didn’t exist. Unfortunately, we who live here -or were visiting- all know the damage it caused on Wednesday night, August 22nd.

Last Saturday, September 1st, the friend with whom I was to dine at Hacienda San Angel (see separate article) called to tell me she had just been handed a notice by the management of the condo complex she lives in, south of town. The notice advised all owners to avoid going out, take everything off their terraces, bolt their doors shut, etc. etc. Why? Because Tropical Storm Henriette was going to hit our coast, like now! I told her to relax while I checked the satellite web site. As we know now, in hindsight, Henriette was already making her way to Baja California which she was forecast to hit as a Category 1 Hurricane. Yes, the skies over Vallarta were overcast, but that’s about as far as it went. Same thing on Sunday, and on Monday the sun came out over our beautiful Bay of Banderas.

Meanwhile, the Tribuna de la Bahía’s front page on Saturday warned «Tropical Storm Henriette Approaches!» - in huge letters. On Sunday, the front page read: «Henriette Moves Away, but Torrential Rains Expected». I must confess, we did get five drops or so, no wind. And still the satellite shots clearly showed her chugging along towards Baja, far away from the Bay of Banderas. The front page of Monday’s issue (the day the sun came out) quotes the National Meteorological Service as saying, «Henriette Leaves Rains in PV» (?) The article continues on page 3, warning –again- of tropical storm-strength winds, torrential rains and even hail… Viva Mexico!

The following is a journal of my excursion into the cyberworld…

I was first introduced to the concept of blogs a while back, when a friend of ours who was -and still is- a frequent poster on the www.vallartascene.com forum returned to her home town of Toronto and started her own blog.

A few weeks ago, I was told of a site that offered web sites, domains, administration, etc. at truly reasonable rates, so I logged on and bought a few. That’s when I informed you that soon, soon, I would have a site where you could find all my previous columns and not have to worry that the system used at the Tribune would delete them, again. I tried my best to follow my administrator’s «easy» instructions as to how to set up a site …to no avail. I even had Rick (the fellow who runs the vallartascene forum, and whom I consider a guru in such matters) come over and try to figure it all out for me. He didn’t have much better luck.

Then, last weekend, I came across a Google banner that advertised free blog sites. As I had nothing to lose, I tried it, and guess what? It actually did what it claimed to do: walk you through the process, real nice and easy for dummies like me. Great! I went back to the Tribune issue that came out on my birthday, at the beginning of January, figuring that was a good place to start. Because the hard disk in one of my computers died a few months ago, I had to resort to some back-up CDs to find most of the texts. I started posting the columns in chronological order, oldest first. Everything was fine …until I decided to take a break for lunch.

When I returned to the computer, I couldn’t find any of the work I’d done in the morning. It took a whole lot of correspondence with the «help» people at Google to find out what the problem was. So now, when you log in to www.shesaid-7.blogspot.com, you’ll find all the columns from July 1st onwards. If you want to check out the articles prior to July 1st, please log on to www.shesaid-07.com I’m sorry about that, I have no idea how that happened, but it’s the best I could do considering that Internet Explorer wouldn’t allow me the privilege of taking any time off for lunch before quitting on me.

I have been a subscriber to the local Telecable service ever since we first moved down here, always paying a year in advance, always wondering whether I would receive a guide each month ...or not. I’ve watched it eliminate more and more of the English channels over the years. The first that affected me was CNN International – an excellent channel out of London, England. Then others were switched to their Spanish-language equivalents. That’s not a bad thing, I speak Spanish fluently, I just don’t enjoy watching my favorite actors speak in totally inappropriate voices. And then they eliminated the SciFi channel. That was the last straw! It was the only reason I had renewed my contract with them, which expired at the end of June. Last week, they came knocking on my door to advise me that they would cut off my service if I didn’t pay, so I told the fellow: «Adelante!» Up the ladder he went, and there he cut the cable. What makes me smile is that Enya’s sister has called Telecable on various occasions to inform them that she was getting their service even though she’d never signed up or paid for it. They keep thanking her, with the assurance that they’d «look into it». She’s been enjoying her free service for years… Viva Vallarta!

This Saturday is the time to shout «Viva Mexico!» for real. It’s Mexico’s Independence Day and the whole town is going to celebrate – big time! So get ready to have a whole lot of fun, dear reader, fiestas on the streets and the main square, music, special foods, fireworks... And do plan on going to one of the restaurants which will be serving the traditional dish of the season, the famous, delicious, Chile en nogada. Try El Arrayan, or Kaiser Maximilian, or whichever you choose, but don’t miss out on this very special treat. Live the true Mexico experience. You’re sure to enjoy it!

Until then, you'll be able to enjoy the eerie calm around town. Our friend Ramona, who used to be our sales director, just returned from her annual 2-week holidays. She called us and during our conversation, she said something rather strange. She had gone down to Olas Altas and swore that she "hear the silence"! Meanwhile, the head of the City's Tourism Department was quoted as saying that they\re launching a "September is Tourism Month" (??) advertising blitz. In the second week of the month? Did they think that September wouldn't happen this year, or what? I remember when they launched a "September for Seniors" advertising campaign a few years ago - also at the last minute. Then, when it didn't bring the wished-for results, they canned the idea...

Until next week, I will leave you with a quotation our friend Richard sent us, which made me smile: "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

posted by Anna Reisman @ 4:21 PM 0 Comments

September 2, 2007

Tropical "depression" Dean has left Mexico, finally. Following its departure, the skies over Puerto Vallarta were once again a deep, deep blue, the sun shone brilliantly, but the waters in the Bay of Banderas looked like a well-made frappuccino, thanks to all the silt and such that Dean washed into the rivers that pour into the Bay.

In the past, much of that silt/earth/whatever was held in place by the root system of the plentiful old trees that surrounded the town. Now, with all the new construction around, the rains just rush over the concrete and cement, sweeping with them everything they encounter along the way. Sometimes, it goes into people's houses before reaching the Bay…

I can't complain. I'm lucky to have Carlos as a friend. He's my neighbor who runs a cleaning company, and he came over the very next day after Dean's visit, and got rid of all the caked mud and silt that covered the floor of my house. It took him and his workers a day and a half, but now my son tells me that my house is "cleaner than it's been in 13 years." It may very well be. The only souvenir I will have will be the legs of the wooden dining room table I purchased in Cuanajo, Michoacan, a couple of years ago, two thick, solid wood pedestal thingamajigs, carved and painted. Now that they've had a chance to dry out, they've split.

My kitties were perched on top of my sofa when the waves entered my house. On the other hand, my dogs had a blast cavorting in the mud-filled waves… I guess they wouldn't "fit in" with Leona Helmsley's dog very well. Did you read that, according to her will, her little Maltese gets $12 Million while two of her grandchildren get nothing from the late luxury hotelier and real estate billionaire's estate? She also wrote that her mausoleum must be "washed or steam-cleaned at least once a year." The "Queen of Mean" who was once quoted as snarling "Only the little people pay taxes" left behind no less than $3 Million for the upkeep of her final resting place in Westchester County! I'm sure that Carlos would be very happy to get that contract…

This week marks the 2^nd anniversary of Katrina and the devastation she caused two years ago. As I said, I can't complain.

By the way, for those of you who are thinking of visiting the beautiful state of Michoacan one day, and especially the area around Lake Patzcuaro (famous for its Day of the Dead celebrations), I highly recommend you make time to spend in Cuanajo. That's where the artisans make all the beautiful carved and painted furniture, chairs, tables, hangings, etc. you see in some of the better restaurants, hotels and condos in Vallarta - and all over the country.

Getting back to the complaining thing, my friend who went out to Pitillal the other day complained vociferously as she related to me how she had to take her 4-year old niece to the washroom in the new underground parking garage that replaced the once-upon-a-time park in the main square there, the largest suburb of Puerto Vallarta. The whole parking area was flooded …but the washrooms were clean. What surprised me too was when she told me that she had to pay 3 Pesos to get toilet paper PRIOR to entering a stall. 3 Pesos! An entire roll doesn't cost more than 4 Pesos, and that's for those soft, double-ply, 500-sheet jobs. I would complain too. What do you do if you have no small change, but a serious urge to use the facilities? That happened to me once, at the airport in Rome, Italy, many, many moons ago, in my "other" life. I ran to the washroom and into a cubicle, only to find out -too late- that there was no paper there. One had to "purchase" it before going in. I hadn't noticed the attendant sitting there, with the six little squares in one hand and the other hand outstretched, waiting for some coins. I wonder if those attendants laugh at those of us who whiz past them without paying for the paper…

Lucero, our astrology guru, is back in PV, and so is his horoscope column, in this issue. He’s even started his own “Ask…” section, like Mama D.’s …but different. That should be fun.

And talking about heavenly bodies, I understand that there was a total lunar eclipse last Tuesday night, August 28/29, but the skies over Vallarta were overcast, so we didn’t get to admire what was announced as the longest such event in no less that seven years: a full hour and 30 minutes … Not that I would have gotten up at 4:50 a.m. to watch it anyway.

posted by Anna Reisman @ 5:21 PM 0 Comments

August 26, 2007

There are those among us who believe in angels, in that they are pure spirits, free of form, and immortal by nature. They are often mentioned in the Bible, always protecting, advising, acting as messengers of the great Supreme Being.

Puerto Vallarta has many angels, of the less ethereal type of course, painted on canvas, or made of bronze or stone, not to mention all the wooden cherubs we find in all the handicraft markets. (Some of them have really scary faces!) There are angels holding up the famous crown of the Church of Our Lady of Guadalupe, and then there was the stone angel that used to stand near the arches at Los Arcos amphitheater, across the street from the main square. It looked more like a warrior to tell the truth, but an angel it was. Our friend Luis Martinez took a photo of it when it was still there.

And then came Hurricane Kenna and her powerful tail which she used to bring down the arches …and the angel. We never did find out what happened to it, I don't know if it was found by anyone or simply washed out to sea like so many furnishings from the shops and restaurants along the Malecon that did not believe the hurricane warnings broadcast for three days straight prior to Kenna's passage.

This past week, another angel appeared to replace the old one, a beautiful, full height figure with outstretched wings. I can't wait to see it, but for the time being, I will share with you the photo of it that appeared in the City's web site. Javier also took a photo of it which was published in the Tribuna de la Bahía. His caption read in part: "…its most important functions are to be the liaison between man and God, to protect human beings and watch for their salvation." I thought to myself, "Ojala that it may be so."

Unfortunately, this new protector was unable to save the people who perished in accidents on the Libramiento last week. You might recall that I shared my experience on that road recently, and mentioned how dangerous I found it to be, with all that loose gravel flying all over the place. "VADR" wrote in the Siempre Libres daily newspaper: "There are no road signs, no police patrol cars, and with the loose gravel sprinkled indiscriminately all along the road by the Public Works Department, it has become the most dangerous road in town… Three dead in two accidents within less than 24 hours… and all because of the bad decisions made by the municipal authorities to improve the traffic on this important thoroughfare."

Nor could it protect us from Dean, the category 5 hurricane that was reduced to a tropical depression by the time it came hovering over us on Wednesday evening. The rains it brought came down so hard and fast that one house came down, one person perished, and the rest of us just had to deal with the raging rivers where streets used to be …and the floods in our homes.

For the very first time in 13 years, I had my own little mud-filled river in the house. It rushed in as if it owned the place and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Now, as I write, I'm thinking about how we're going to clean up all this dried up mud… But the sun is trying to peek through and eventually, everything will return to normal. It always does; after all, this is paradise.

Although I've been attending the Charity Thursday Bingo Nights at Langostinos -to have fun and help the kids at the R.I.S.E. children's shelter- it gave me great pleasure to see that others are focusing their good deeds on the other end of the spectrum: the underprivileged senior citizens of this town. Ali Hernandez will be offering the services of her employees and herself one day per month to pamper the nice folks at the Asilo, and now the Zapopan Rotarians are bringing in the San Florian Children's Choir to raise funds for the construction of Puerto Vallarta's new Senior Citizen Day Care Center. Congratulations and kudos to all the philanthropists out there! You will surely be rewarded multifold for your kindness and generosity.

posted by Anna Reisman @ 5:19 PM 0 Comments

August 19, 2007

There are times when many things happen, which it gives me pleasure to share with you, dear reader. Sometimes, they are most appreciated by visitors to Ourtown who are sincerely interested in getting a little insight into our everyday lives here, while at other times, my telling of them is directed mostly to my fellow residents, who have lived through similar experiences themselves, and end up feeling a little better with the knowledge that they are not the only ones to have done so.

There are weeks where the space allotted to me does not suffice for all I'd like to share with you, while there are others, like this one, when very little of note, or I should say, noteworthy - has happened, deserving of this space.

Now that I've paid my Telcel bill three months ahead of time, every bill has been delivered on time - of course... now that I don't owe them anything. Not so with my TelMex bill. This one didn't arrive at all this month, for the first time in over a year, that I can recall. Perhaps Mr. Slim didn't like the fact that we told you he was earning $29 Million a day…

And just as I told you last week about how excellent their repair service is, I can tell you now that Cosmored certainly doesn't fall into that category. But I'll get back to that later.

I had a few friends and relatives in town this week, none of which had ever been to Vallarta in the summertime, the rainy season. They had all heard about how much we love this time of year, but it is not something that anyone can fully understand or appreciate, unless they've lived it in person.

On Saturday night, we had agreed to meet and have dinner at ViteA, on the new Malecon, a.k.a. its extension. I parked at the Benito Juarez parking garage, but by the time my friend and I got to the door which gives out onto the Malecon, the skies had opened up, so between there and ViteA, which is just a few steps down, we both got soaked to the bone. The same happened to my relatives who were coming from the other end. So there we were, sitting at our table, soaking wet. It was 8 o'clock. My cousin asked me, "How long do these rainstorms usually last?" I told him, "About an hour, an hour and a half." Outside, children were running and laughing in the warm, pounding rain as their parents slowly walked behind them, indifferent to the fact that they were soaked. The rain stopped at 9:30. My cousin looked at his watch, then at me, in disbelief. We all laughed. Although the rain had stopped, the thunder and lightning - what I like to call one of Mother Nature's more spectacular Sound & Light shows - continued. He asked me, "And how long does that go on for?" "Oh, a few hours," I said. And so it was. Them sitting there, enjoying the superb food, watching the Sound & Light show across the sky, oohing and aahing, while I enjoyed watching them, for hours. Our clothes were nearly dry by the time we left the restaurant.

But all was not light and beauty in Puerto Vallarta. The storm caused myriad brown-outs, flooding and power outages - again. With the destruction of so many trees, and consequently their root systems, and the paving over of so much rain-absorbing areas, the town's ancient and obsolete drainage system is having a very hard time coping with the excess water and the powerful currents it causes.

One of the areas affected was mine. I got home to find that some of our neighbors had no light at all, while others, including myself, had a brown-out.

The next day, the people across the street woke up to find that their internet service was down. As they don't speak Spanish, they asked me to call Cosmored to get it repaired, which I did on Monday. Once, twice, thrice… only to be told at the end of the day that they "wouldn't be able to get to us due to the number of calls they had…" Tuesday, I started calling them again, repeatedly and often. Finally, by the afternoon, I told them that these people's work, and their income, depended on the internet, and that they'd better send someone over right away in order to avoid further complications… They finally did. The WiFi modem had somehow failed to reset itself properly.

Tomorrow is Thursday Night Charity Bingo. We should all remember that the needs of the kids at the Refugio Infantil Santa Esperanza children's shelter do not diminish just because it's low season in Vallarta. They need food and clean clothes all year 'round, and now school supplies too! And they certainly can't make do with what they receive from the DIF family services, so I really hope a lot of you will show up at Langostinos for this fun event.

I also have another friend coming in tomorrow. Though this will not be his first visit to Vallarta, he also has never experienced our summer thunderstorms. I'm looking forward to seeing his reaction too.

Well, by the time you read this, all the kiddies will have gone back to school and the town will officially go into what the locals woefully call septihambre. In case you're not familiar with the term, septiembre is September. Hambre is hunger. Thus septihambre, the month of hunger, financial famine if you will. On the positive side for the rest of us, there will be relative calm for a while, except for all the incessant construction work going on all over town of course. Those of us who have been cocooning in or near our homes will be able to go "out and about" again, until November when the snowbirds fly back down to this, their home away from home.

With all the good movies coming up, I'm sure we won't be bored. And with so many of our favorite restaurants still offering special "summer discounts", we won't go hungry either. By the way, does anyone know if they're going to have a (real) donut shop in one of those mega shopping centers and plazas going up all over the place?...

I want to thank all of you who have sent me emails expressing their sympathies on the theft of the painting I bought from Steve Fisher a few weeks ago, at the Bingo auction. That's all I have for you this week, folks. So I'll end it here, wishing you a most delicious week, full of love and serendipitous happenings …and a Happy Birthday to all the Virgos out there too!

posted by Anna Reisman @ 5:15 PM 0 Comments

August 12, 2007

The most impressive natural spectacle one is privy to in this town - apart from the breathtaking sunsets - is the major tropical thunderstorms we get from time to time during the summer, also known as the rainy season.

We had one such event on Tuesday of last week. The skies darkened to the point that we had to turn on the lights in the house. Then, around 4:45 p.m., they opened up - literally. It was the real life demonstration of the word "downpour". Within a few minutes, our hillside became a torrent, a waterfall. And then the thunder began! The kind that reverberates around the mountainsides, gathering the power needed to cause windows to tremble, and the marrow of our bones to resonate. It was awesome. And after it was over, and the air was cool, clean and fresh, the delightful, harmonious cricket concertos began. At least some of their habitat hasn't been paved over yet…

Enya, my girl, called her partner to see if he could come pick her up. He couldn't. The road in the area of the Krystal Hotel was under a meter of water and no one was allowed to cross except for some emergency vehicles. The same happened in front of the Sheraton.

There are some areas of town that are definitely in dire need of some sort of review or repair of the obsolete drainage system because they flood every time it rains. In her article featured on the front page of the Tribuna de la Bahía the following day, my colleague Lourdes Martinez wrote about the storm that "battered Puerto Vallarta without mercy for over an hour". Another area always affected by such storms is the street in front of my friend Wayne's office (he's the editor of Vallarta Today, a fellow Canadian), and Francisco Villa Avenue. The succeeding municipal administrations have all acknowledged the problem, but none has been willing to undertake such a major task.

Getting back to the things I have always appreciated immensely in this town, something that has often been written about, is the friendliness of its people. A few years ago, Puerto Vallarta was named "The Friendliest City in the World" by the famous Condé Nast magazine. But I'm referring to another facet of that friendliness: their politeness. True, sometimes it is only superficial, but most of the time it is genuine. Here, when you meet an acquaintance on the street, after the usual "Hola!" the automatic question is "Como estás?" (How are you?) I know, you'll tell me that's the way it is everywhere, and that may very well be true, but here they wait to hear your answer. They care. And even more so if you reciprocate.

And then there are other times when this politeness evokes a slightly different response, and then makes me laugh. Let me explain. The other day, I was returning home along that dirt road that skirts the Rio Cuale, going west until it meets up with Jacarandas. There were cars parked on one side, and a big delivery truck coming towards me. I stopped and waited so he could get by. As he did, the young driver gave me a big smile and said "Gracias, señora!" Señora? He made me feel like a grandmother, and then I remembered that I am. Sheesh! And here I was, feeling like I was 30-ish…

I also discovered something else as I was returning home. I'm ashamed to say that I never noticed this tiny little shop located on the right hand side of Venustiano Carranza, across the street from El Brujo, just as one exits the little tunnel of the Libramiento, heading for the south side. It carries all sorts of cheeses and vinegars, extra virgin olive oil and olives too, spices and herbs, many Italian items …all sorts of goodies. I walked out of there with bags full of them.

Still on food, I came across an article that dealt with the FDA's proposed regulation that would require or allow, I'm not sure, the chocolate producers to use vegetable oil instead of cocoa butter in their preparation of that delicacy we know as …chocolate! Now, as the chocolate goddesses at Xocodiva have taught us, chocolate is made with cocoa butter. It's as simple as that. Anything else would be, well, something else. I'll stick with Xocodiva. To the best of my knowledge, the FDA's power does not extend to Puerto Vallarta, and personally, I'm very glad for that. We've made a habit of sorts to have a wonderful brunch at Mama Dolores', followed by one of those decadent truffles hand made by Charlotte, and then a leisurely few hours on Los Muertos beach. No wonder so many call this a paradise.

And then there's our (in)famous Hooters… (read Twila's column in this week's issue). It's too bad that the administration in office when they opened the place gave them a permit to put up that horrid sign where it appears in every photo tourists take of the main square area. So last Tuesday, they were closed because of a CTM workers' union strike. Purportedly, they're not fulfilling their commitments to their employees, and there are other problems with those of their new location in Plaza Peninsula.

When I went to open my email on Yahoo the other day, there was a huge ad entitled "How fast can I complete my degree online?" Free-College-Info.com's answer read "Master's in 10-18 months". A list followed, describing all the types of degrees one could get …including "Manangement". One would think that they would spell-check their ad's copy before paying such big bucks to the Yahoo folks …especially if they're offering a Master's degree, or am I wrong?

Ah, yes, the internet… My modem had some sort of fatal heart attack on Monday evening, not a good moment to do that. We have to put out the paper by Wednesday, and none of the first three days of the week is a particularly good day for us to lose the means by which we send all the articles back and forth. I called one technician; he was busy and wouldn't be free until sometime late in the day. I called another, who reminded me that I could call TelMex' Prodigy Infinitum department and report my problem. I followed his advice.

Now you may not believe this, but following my conversation with a most pleasant young lady in Mexico City, the technician was ringing my doorbell less than an hour later! He gave me a new modem, changed all the telephone line filters and surprise! All of a sudden my internet connection speed had doubled!

While he was working so diligently, I thought of his boss who earns some $29 Million US Dollars per day while his zillion employees barely earn a living… I thanked the technician effusively and had to argue with him to accept the tip I was offering. He finally did, and he even gave me a local number to call in case I should need any repair in the future. I must say, the repair department of Telefonos de Mexico has always impressed me with its efficiency. We won't talk about the rates they charge.

Do you realize it's been 30 years since Elvis Presley passed away (despite the fact that some maintain he's still alive and well somewhere…)? Wow, talk about time flying! I was lucky enough to see The King perform at the Nassau County Coliseum eons ago, and yet I can remember every moment as if it were yesterday. They do say that it's the short-term memory that goes first, don't they? Unfortunately, it's also been ten years since Princess Diana's passing…

We have to live every moment of every day to the fullest, dear readers, yes, as if it were our last. We really don’t know what can happen to us in the very next one.

posted by Anna Reisman @ 5:11 PM 0 Comments

August 5, 2007

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there’s never a dull moment in this little not-quite-perfect paradise of ours.

At last week’s Thursday bingo night, I did something I haven’t done in some twenty years: I bid on a work of art. Artist Steve Fisher has brought many of his pieces to be auctioned to raise funds for the R.I.S.E. children’s shelter over the last couple of months, but none had “called out to me” like this one particular canvas. And that is what it was, a 3’ x 4’ canvas on a backboard, unframed. I’m giving you this information for a reason. Stay with me. I won the bidding and I was delighted.

Afterwards, I walked over to Mama Dolores’ for some of her yummy tortilla soup, and some fun conversation …until midnight. It rained hard, so Mama (Grant) was kind enough to slip the painting into two laaarge-size garbage bags so it wouldn’t get wet on the way to my little two-door, seven-year old Tracker. I drove home, parked the car in front of the house as I always do, leaving the painting upright behind the front seats so I could bring it down to the framing shop the next morning. At 1:30 a.m., when I went to lock up, everything was calm on the northern front.

Friday morning, I went downstairs only to find that the car had been broken into, the few papers I had in the keyless glove compartment were strewn all over the front seats, and the painting was gone.

My neighbors and I share a wonderful video security system with many cameras, one of which is aimed at the street leading up to our houses. They’re out of town and for the first time since they bought the place, their houseman was out of town too. His wife got in touch with him, and he walked me through the video system operating procedure …long distance. I set it for the previous night, after 1:30 a.m. We didn’t have to wait long. At 2:07 a.m., a person came up the street, left a little white plastic bag of garbage on my other’s neighbor’s step, checked out another neighbor’s pick-up truck, walked over to the Tracker, snapped the canvas window out, spent some time rummaging through my papers, removed the painting in its garbage bags, walked down a few steps, leaned the painting against a wall, relieved himself nearby, picked up the painting again, and went back down the street with it.

I called the cops. They came within a few minutes. We all went into my neighbor’s place so they could see the security video. As they were watching the “perp” coming up the hill, they both exclaimed: “Oh, him, we know who he is. He’s from Guadalajara.” To me, it was just a figure in the dark, but they recognized him by his walk alone.

The cops told me I had to go to the local Attorney General’s office, the Procuraduria, out by the bus station, past the airport, within the next 24 hours. And they left. I figured I would drive out there the next day. A few hours later, not one but two brand new police pick-up trucks pulled up to the house, with the “perp” lying face down in the back of one of them, his wrists handcuffed behind his back. They asked if I could identify him, I said no. I never saw his face clearly. They drove away, but not before subjecting the man to some rather tough “interrogation”.

On Saturday, I drove out to the Procuraduria. There, the young lawyer told me I had to go to the Ministerio Publico in Las Juntas, just before the border with the state of Nayarit. That’s where the “perp” was being held. No problem, he added, they were waiting for me, he had notified them by phone. OK. I arrived at the Ministerio Publico (the façade of the building identifies it as the Traffic Bureau). I introduced myself to the licenciado, who apologized profusely as he informed me that it would take an hour or so before he could attend to my case as there was another gringo waiting for him to take his deposition, ahead of me. Did I want to go home and come back another time, like in the afternoon? No, thank you, I’ll go have lunch somewhere. There’s a “Tacon de Marlin” a few doors away. I had a fabulous, humungous tacon de pulpo with a jicama salad on the side, as I read the day’s Tribuna de la Bahia.

Feeling calm and sated, I returned to the Ministerio, gave my deposition, signed every copy front and back, and returned home, knowing that -unfortunately- I would never see Steve’s beautiful painting again, but also feeling better for having fulfilled my “civic duty” as a Mexican citizen. At least the money went to the kids at the children’s shelter, and that’s a good thing.

The evening was spent at ViteA with a friend, great fare as always, then on to Cinemark to see Anthony Hopkins in “Fracture”.

We lived through another one of those "never a dull moment in paradise" moments this week. Enya, my girl, called me over in a whisper. "We have a visitor," she said. I figured it was one of the neighborhood cats, but no, not this time. It was one of those black lizards called garrobos here, just like the one that caused my beloved Kahlua's demise a year and a half ago. This one was just sitting there, in the middle of the house, surrounded by my cats and my dogs who were looking at it as it was hissing at them. I really despise those creatures and their venomous ways. We called the Department of Proteccion Civil, who told us to call the Fire Department, who in turn referred us to the Ecological Police, who promised to call us back with the proper number to call. Thank goodness for our plumber who arrived just in time to get the garrobo out from in between the doors where it had taken refuge. He somehow got a hold of it and brought it out to the vacant lot in front of the house. Whew! No, the Ecological Police Department still hasn't called us with any special telephone number…

Getting back to the topic of movies, there was a very funny comment in one of the articles published in the Meridiano daily paper on July 30^th: "They’re remodeling the Aquiles Serdán amphitheater (a.k.a. Los Arcos) so that our town will look very good in the movie Disney is shooting here … It would be good if at least three movies were shot here in Puerto Vallarta each year, this would pressure the authorities into taking care of the town, not just to look good for the Hollywood magnates. They’ll have to film Rambo 8, so as to bring some extra explosives to blow up the buildings that affect the mountains. Oh well, it’s just movies, right?"

A good number of my friends and acquaintances are involved in the shooting of Disney’s South of the Border here this week. Having had the pleasure of being involved in that industry for a while, many years ago, I know how much fun -and sometimes boredom- it can represent. I remember how excited everyone was when they were shooting Puerto Vallarta Squeeze here a few years ago. Everyone thought they’d be able to see themselves once the movie was released. Unfortunately, most ended up being «deleted» during the editing process… In my humble opinion, in that particular case, I think it was all for the better considering that the final version of the movie turned out to be a dud. I’m sure that this one will be a delightful film, as most Disney productions are.

Anyway, the point I wanted to make is illustrated in the foto I’m inserting in this column, where you can all see the mess the shoot caused in the downtown area. They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. And the authorities claim that we don’t have too many buses there!

For all you plant lovers out there, our friend Rick is now giving regular plant classes! He's also added a once-a-month "First Sunday" plant sale and open house at the nursery (obviously on the first Sunday of each month) from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. The sale involves many rare plants not available anywhere else in Mexico and many 'normal' culinary and medicinal herbs, and as always, cultivation information is freely shared. In addition, refreshments will be available.

The next class is scheduled for August 12^th at 11 a.m., entitled "Growing the Native and Common Culinary Plants of Mexico". (There is a 50-peso admission fee.)

If you'd like more information on the sale and the classes, just log on to Rick's XPlanta website at www.xplanta.com

And still on things beautiful, I hope you haven’t missed any of the spectacular sunsets we’ve been having lately, the ones that look like some computer-generated sky of a far away planet in a science fiction movie. We don’t get them often during the winter months, so enjoy them while you can.

On a totally different note, there’s a quote I’d like to share with you. It is one of comedian Robert Kelly’s many funny lines during the 25^th Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal: “Have you ever found a helpful person working in a (insert your favorite big store’s name here… Wal-Mart, Sam’s, etc.)? You have a better chance of finding a figure skater in Kenya.”

posted by Anna Reisman @ 5:08 PM 0 Comments

July 28, 2007

As some of you may remember, Santander, the bank I deal with here, sent me a notice telling that, since I was such a good customer, I was entitled to a loan equivalent to six months’ salary. I applied, and way too late for my needs, I was told that all I could get was the equivalent of $1,000. US “because I did not have a credit rating in Mexico”. So I got a Santander credit card - bottom of the line, with a $5,000. Peso limit. That’s about $500. dollars. Whoppeedoo! I was also told that if I was a good girl, and used the card often, and paid off my balances on time, after one year I could apply for their Mexicana card which would enable me to accumulate points on my Frecuenta account - which is what I really want considering that my only traveling consists in flying back and forth to Montreal once a year.

A year and a half later, having fulfilled all the above-mentioned requirements, I applied for the coveted Santander-Mexicana card… only to be told, weeks later, that I did not qualify as I was not a Mexican citizen. They had never told me about that little detail.

Once I acquired my Mexican citizenship, I applied again. This time, I was refused because “six months had not elapsed since my last application”. Another little detail they don’t disclose… So now, I have to book my ticket without any extra “bonus” points - again. And that after Mexicana increased the number of points required to fly up to Canada by 50% a couple of years ago - without notifying their members, of course.

Talking about members, now that I’ve paid them three whole months ahead of time, Telcel (another of poor Carlos Slim’s companies) is sending me their bills on time. I wonder why it is they don’t do that when I owe them money.

Actually, my week -which begins on Thursday, once the Tribune is put to bed- started out very nicely. Bingo at the Lazy Lizard was great (see Joy’s report in the Bingo Corner) and then our entire gang went to Maria Candelaria for some scrumptious tamales. In case you haven’t tried them, check ‘em out at 851 Guadalupe Sanchez, but keep in mind that they’re closed from 1 to 6 p.m., and on Sundays.

On Saturday, my friend and I went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (love that kind of stuff!) and then we went to Spiaggia for dinner. What a beautiful location! It’s where Cabana Club used to be, at the foot of Uruguay if my memory serves me right. They have live music, and the food is excellent (with exception of their inexplicably tasteless parfait and flan, that are quasi identical).

Still on the topic of food, our friend T.J. who took me out to “Eat Me” -the recently-opened pizza/wine bar- when I returned from Colima with my newly-acquired Mexican passport, informed me that owner YaYa was planning a little art opening / pizza sampling event for the public last Friday, so I’ll let you know how it went. You should try it too, it’s on Pino Suarez, corner of Francisco Madero, and as I wrote last time, aside from the good fare, just reading the very risqué menu is reason enough to do so.

I’ve also been reading a lot of good things about Agave Grill, even better than usual. To quote some of them: “The salsa made at the table is the best I have ever had… The mole poblano over chicken stuffed with squash blossoms was dreamy… It just keeps getting better. The service, presentation and quality were all outstanding… I loved the servers’ explanations of each ingredient, one by one. The décor seems to get better every year too.” And all that since their chef left. His replacement is obviously doing a great job. Way to go, guys! I’ve always loved the place - and its food.

As of now, we also have a Starbucks right smack dab in the heart of town, off the main square no less! Boy, those folks sure know how to find prime locations. Personally, I’m glad just because I won’t have to go all the way out to the Peninsula (with all due respect to the reader who was upset by my reluctance to drive out to the Marina…) I happen to like a particular brand of Starbucks’ whole grain coffee, to prepare the way I like it. I won’t apologize but nor will I tell you which it is. The last time I wrote about a favorite food of mine, I couldn’t find it again for weeks ‘cause everyone went out to buy it and the store owners didn’t realize they should order more… All you have to do is do what I did: try every one in your favorite category (mellow, robust, etc.), then choose the one you like best.

Have you taken the Libramiento lately? What is the thinking behind their method of work? Perhaps one of you could explain to me why they’ve closed two of the four lanes even if no one is working along most of the distance. And anyways, even when it opens up again, it’s still covered with gravel - scary stuff if you get too close to the car in front of you.

On Sunday, we went to the Botanical Gardens for one last wonderful day before they closed for the summer season. Their calzones are right up there with the very best I’ve ever tasted, their “flan campestres” are nothing short of obscenely decadent, and I won’t even try to tell you how much more beautiful the Gardens are than they were a few weeks ago ‘cause I don’t want to make you jealous. Just make sure you get there as soon as they reopen to the public in October, once the life-giving rains stop.

Rain, yes, lots of it in England, too much, and it’s not giving life …while Romanians are literally dying of heat. And people still think that we haven’t messed up our little planet?

Before I forget, I hope you’ve all been notified about the latest computer virus to invade the internet. It was even featured on CNN, that’s how bad it is. Microsoft classified it as the most destructive ever. Discovered by McAfee, this virus “simply destroys Sector Zero from the hard disk, where vital information for its functioning are stored. It sends itself automatically to all contacts on your list with the title "A Card for You". As soon as the supposed virtual card is opened, the computer freezes so that the user has to reboot. When the ctrl+alt+ del keys or the reset button are pressed, the virus destroys Sector Zero, thus permanently destroying the hard disk. So don't open any emails with subject: ‘A Virtual Card for You.’ As soon as you get the mail, delete it - even if you know the sender.”

Today, Wednesday, ended my week on a very sad note. I’ve always known that the Specter of Death sometimes hangs around for a long time before snatching its next victim. It’s really hard on the family and the victim when that happens, and when he finally does make up his mind, his decision is welcomed. But at other times, he just comes unannounced, as he did last night when he came for Dr. Vazquez. That’s really hard for those left behind.

I had the honor of interviewing the man I called the “Plastic Surgeon cum laude” last year.

This man evoked trust at first sight. He was warm and friendly, and spoke perfect English without any noticeable accent whatsoever. He was a great promoter of “medical tourism”, especially for Puerto Vallarta, of course. His excellent English was a result of his years as an exchange student in Salt Lake City. He also traveled extensively throughout the U.S., and attended as many conventions and seminars as he could there, to keep abreast of all the latest in his field of work. He was so admired that he was to speak at some of these events, in both Canada and the U.S.

In addition to all this, Dr. Alfredo Vázquez had over 25 years of experience, which may help explain why his were called "magic hands". He will be sorely missed, by his family and friends, but also by the hundreds of men and women he made beautiful. May you rest in peace, Doctor.

The same day, we had to deal with another kind of doctor when my grandson was diagnosed with an inflamed appendix - which had to be removed right away. Thank heavens, the whole procedure took about a half and hour and the little fellow is fine, but hospitals are not a favorite place of mine. I’ve been blessed, not having to be admitted to one for anything other than to give birth to my children.

I used to read a lot back then, when I was having my children. Since I moved down here, I haven’t been inclined to read much, preferring to sit in front of the idiot box at the end of a hard day’s work. Well, that changed when the power source of my satellite system decoder suffered its own version of a heart attack. Not that it mattered much, considering that even with hundreds of channels, there’s nothing worth watching on the tube these months. So I read, I read lots, I think it actually started with Jenny McGill’s delightful Drama and Diplomacy book (available at Rizo’s). What a wonderful feeling it’s been. I think I’ll do more in the months to come. Mind you, there are so many good flicks around, and coming around, that they can easily fill the evening hours, Fracture with Anthony Hopkins, The Bourne Ultimatum with Matt Damon (Mmmm, can’t wait!), etc. etc.

posted by Anna Reisman @ 5:06 PM 0 Comments

July 21, 2007

On my way to the Lazy Lizard last Thursday, I thought I’d stop in at a “Hugs and Kisses”, a.k.a.: O X X O, to get some chewing gum. I was introduced to the Maxair brand a few years ago, little Chiclet-type squares that pack a wallop, similar to wasabi, when you chew one. Sort of clears up one’s sinuses in one fell swoop. Well, for some reason unknown to me, this gum has nearly disappeared off the shelves of most local shops lately. All kinds of other, bland, boring brands, but not this one.

As expected, the shop at the corner of Olas Altas didn’t have any, so I walked down to the one at the corner of Amapas. (They really are popping up at every corner, aren’t they? Like the Starbucks up north…) Anyway, the owner of that shop just shook his head, sadly, when I asked him how it was that that brand of gum had disappeared, or had the manufacturer discontinued it. And then, as if he’d reached the end of his rope, he blurted: “How many cans of tuna do you think they left me? Come here! Look for yourself!” Exasperated, he pointed to a single can of tuna on the floor, next to a few other items he was in the process of stocking when I walked in and interrupted him. I just looked at him. “One! One can of tuna! Now that everyone is here on holidays, now that they’re all asking me for tuna to make sandwiches! Can you believe it?”

He walked back to the cash counter, pulled out a bunch of sheets from beneath the cash machine and waved them in the air as he yelled “And then they complain to me that my sales are down! They don’t supply me with anything to sell!”

I felt sorry for the man, but his was not the first such complaint I’ve heard from OXXO franchisees. I’m not a businesswoman, but I really cannot fathom this huge national chain’s policy. They’ve opened shops everywhere, they pop up overnight, everywhere, but then they don’t supply them with the products customers want most. The lady at the OXXO corner of Basilio Badillo and Insurgentes, the one where I used to pay all my utility bills, lost a whole bunch of customers over the last year as items they liked were no longer being stocked.

I was very interested in the statistics issued by PV’s Tourism Trust, a.k.a. the PV Office of Conventions and Visitors sometimes (see separate article in this issue). It made me smile, or maybe it was more a smirk than a smile. It reminded me of the hundreds of thousands of tax payers’ dollars that office spent a few years ago on advertising Vallarta in South America and Europe. The former isn’t even mentioned in the stats, I assume it must represent even less than one percent. Aero Mexico even pushed all sorts of special fares to and from Brazil… To no avail. And I remembered when our former mayor went on a quickie European tour with a whole bunch of his city hall cronies. You know the kind I’m referring to, “If this is Tuesday, it must be Belgium”-style. At the time, city councilpersons of the opposing party questioned the validity of the trip, and the potential benefits. I guess they had learned from when their own party’s mayor had done the same a few years earlier, returning with contracts signed with the Spanish …who then all went straight from the Puerto Vallarta international airport directly to the Spanish-owned Riu Hotel in our neighboring state of Nayarit. And then a while back, these PAN party council members –and the media- derided the mayor’s intention to promote our town …in China! How does the saying go? Something like “Those who do not learn from their mistakes, are bound to repeat them”?

I just hope that if the municipal authorities ever do decide to go ahead with their (occult, silent) plan to pave over the little bit of beauty left on the island, Isla Cuale, with 64 cement cubicles to accommodate all the vendors who were displaced from their stalls in the 3 parks that were exterminated over the last couple of years, the people will once again demonstrate their opposition. It worked last time, it can work again.

For those of you who did not attend the Gala Dinner at La Petite France in honor of Bastille Day, I must tell you that aside from the food which was superb, as always and as expected, the show was something else! (Yes, I admit to being very partial to French food…) These young ladies of the Versus group put on a unique demonstration of flamenco and contemporary dance, with superb costumes, some of which reminded me of the ones we saw at the famous Venice Festival in Italy many, many years ago…

The media has devoted a lot of space and time to the recent decision taken by the Bahía de Banderas OCV, to rename the region “Riviera Nayarit”. I hope it works for them, because to the best of my knowledge, folks in Canada and the U.S. are most familiar with the Vallarta name, while still unaware of what Nayarit is. Until recently, the big hotels to the north of the Ameca River advertised themselves on the internet as being in Puerto Vallarta. So I thought I’d Google some of them just to see if there had been any changes made. These are my findings:

Paradise Village describes itself as “The Best of Puerto Vallarta”. The Marival Grand & Club Suites is honest; their beautifully-designed site shows a map with the exact location of the hotel. The Grand Velas All Suites and Spa Resort page shows a Nuevo Vallarta (does that name still exist?) location, which it claims is 15 minutes away from both the airport AND Puerto Vallarta. Hmmm… The Occidental Grand is a little more accurate, describing its location as 15 minutes from the airport and 25 from the center of town. The Royal Decameron’s sites were down when I tried them, but the Google search results read “The Royal Decameron Complex is located in Vallarta, which is located just 15 minutes from the Puerto Vallarta International Airport and 20 minutes from downtown.” Now this truly nice resort is in Bucerías, which is even farther from town than what we used to call Nuevo Vallarta. And when was the last time any one of you made it from the airport to downtown in 5 minutes? Maybe they have a shortcut I’m not familiar with, or perhaps they’re referring to the time it would take a water taxi to travel the distance.

I still don’t know why some entrepreneur with a vision doesn’t set up such a business. I’m no businesswoman, but I think it would be extremely successful - and fun! Like a ferry, using hovercrafts that skim over the water at great speeds. Now there’s a thought! After all, I read that something like a billion dollars was going to be invested on the north shore of the bay. A hovercraft or ten wouldn’t even make a dent in that budget…

posted by Anna Reisman @ 5:02 PM 0 Comments