Monday, July 28, 2008

July 27, 2009


Josh Freed, whose humorous articles we get to enjoy from time to time in the Tribune (thanks to his personal friendship with our editor) produced and starred in a one-hour TV special entitled «My Messy Life». It is funny and enlightening, tackling a subject I –for one- find fascinating: messiness. The program contains interviews with international VIPs, legislators, famous authors, as well as psychologists specializing in the matter.

Now my place is nowhere as messy as Mr. Freed’s, there are no piles of books and papers on the floor, but every other horizontal surface in my office, the living room and the dining room, is filled with mountains of magazines and newspaper clippings, dating back some 14 years.

Over that period of time, I have cut out –and kept- every article I considered «important to keep» or «potentially interesting to our readers», as well as every local English-language magazine and paper published in Vallarta …and in some other Mexican tourist destinations. I admit it openly: I have always been, and still am …a pack rat. And those items I just mentioned amount to a lot of stuff, believe me.

Anyway, I couldn’t tell you what came over me, maybe it was some unconscious fear that my life and my surroundings would turn into something similar to Freed’s «Messy Life», or maybe it was the hot, steamy, cloudy weather last weekend, but I decided to tackle at least one area of my mountain chain of papers, the one in my office. I managed to get through four foot-high piles, paper by paper. (I still have five or six more to do, in other parts of the house…) The reason for which I’m sharing all this with you is because, in my careful triage, I came across some clippings whose headlines might amuse any of you who live here and / or are familiar with local happenings. Most are cases of oft-read, repetitive, surreal déjà vu, or to be more exact, déjà lu. Here goes:

November, 1999:

- Vallarta’s 970 taxis to get more stands in exchange for taking training courses & wearing uniforms as of January 1st, 2000

- City Council to approve Urban Development Plan which would green light the Fluvial Vallarta development project, maintain current city limits, and preserve the mountain, among others.

January, 2000 – Former PV Mayor and Federal Deputy Fernando Gonzalez Corona officially leaves the world of politics.

April, 2000:

- USS Valley Forge visits Puerto Vallarta

- Telmex to spend $111 Million pesos on 8,000 new lines around the bay

May, 2000 – Only 2.2% of car owners in Jalisco have car insurance, despite the fact that it has been compulsory for 3 months.

June, 2000:

- Illegal clear cutting in Cabo Corrientes devastating the region.

- Municipal police officers to learn English. Those who already speak it will go on to learn French.

April, 2001:

- PV and Bahia de Banderas municipalities’ hotel associations agree on joint promotion.

- Youngster arrested for graffiti.

- Five years after the site was purchased and 15 months after its «official» inauguration, the new city dump was put into operation, with a geomembrane that will stop noxious substances from seeping into the water table beneath it. According to the authorities, the new dump will serve all the needs of Vallarta for 15 years.

July, 2003 – 4 out of 10 restaurants close within one year. – CANIRAC

August, 2003:

- Taxis must use meters, according to the law. – State Sec’y of Transport, Jalisco

- Bahia de Banderas municipality to seek international government funds to build sewage treatment plant.

- IMSS drowning in Corruption. – President of PV Hotel & Motel Association.

- Turnstiles installed in city buses.

September, 2003 – Turnstiles removed from city buses.

March, 2008:

- Bus fare raised to $5.50 pesos (was $3 pesos in 1998). In exchange, drivers commit themselves to dress appropriately, be polite with passengers and take drug tests every four months. They will receive fixed salaries, thus eliminating the need to race for passengers. The vehicles must be in impeccable condition mirrors placed so as to eliminate «blind spots», with special seating for handicapped, pregnant and older passengers, etc.

- Mandatory separation of solid waste material to begin May 1st, 2008.

Another thing that I find a little surreal, though this time it’s not a Mexican thing, it’s an American one: First the US’ Food & Drug Administration folks assumed that the outbreaks of salmonella were caused by Mexican tomatoes. That assumption was proven to be wrong. Then they went after cilantro, forgetting that cilantro is used to help KILL the salmonella bacteria. Now they’re going after the avocadoes and the jalapeño chili peppers (of which they found ONE bad one in Texas). Why don’t they just come out and say it? They don’t like guacamole and they don’t want anyone else to enjoy it.

And here’s another example of how Mexico is viewed by its northern neighbor: In an Associated Press article that appeared in the Los Angeles Times regarding the first weekend take of the new Batman movie (a record-breaking $158 Million in the U.S.), the reporter wrote, «Overseas, The Dark Knight raked in $40 Million (USD) in 20 countries where it began opening Wednesday, including Australia, Mexico and Brazil.» Think about it. If we’re deemed to be «overseas», it’s no wonder that no Canadian or US-based toll-free 800 numbers function in Mexico. It’s also no wonder that the Customs folks at the border and at the airports in this country sometimes treat us «foreigners» as potential criminals. Maybe they’re just getting even… I’ve read that there are no more red and green lights at PVR’s airport, that all bags are X-rayed and that anyone can be checked …at the discretion of the agents. If any of you can corroborate this, please do let us know. Just send an email to our editor.

In the meantime, as this year’s number of reported cases of dengue rises, the Health authorities have decided to fumigate taxis and buses in order to combat the dengue-carrying mosquitoes. In 2006, they used an insecticide that didn’t do what it was intended to do, so they had to resort to aerial fumigation. However… the stagnant water harboring zillions of those little insects in the pool of the abandoned condo construction site near my place just continues to thrive. It’s been two years now, and no one seems to care… Everyone in the neighborhood is complaining about the increase in flies and mosquitoes…

For my part, I’m a happy camper. For the first time -since the month I spent in the Amazon, over twenty years ago- I spray myself with repellent before going to bed, and then I can watch the amazing sound and light show Mother Nature has been presenting us with during her quasi nightly thunderstorms. Awesome!

I wish you all a fabulous week, keep cool …and well hydrated! And don’t forget your sun block! Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com My blog: www.shesaid-7.blogspot.com

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

July 20, 2008


First of all, there is some good news I would love to share with you. I received an email from Jay Ailworth. He’s the photographer whose pictures have graced the covers of the Tribune on many, many occasions, as well as the pages of Vallarta Lifestyles and all sorts of boating-related publications as well. Jay entered a photography contest on the internet - along with over 10,000 others! Those were reduced to some 100 whose photos appeared on the site… And Jay’s beautiful photo of a hummingbird was among the finalists’! As a result, Jay won himself a spanking new Nikon D60! Way to go, Jay!

The PV’s Cultural Department put on two excellent performances at the Cuale Cultural Center on the island, but of course, as has become tradition, no one knew about it until after it was over. The program called «A Meeting of Cultures» featured African music, dances and rituals on the 12th of the month, and the Middle Eastern equivalent last Saturday, the 19th. This Saturday’s presentation will feature the Meso-American culture, you may want to pass by there just to check it out. It is sure to be excellent.

The other cultural event for which we did not receive enough advance notice was the «Gran Noche de Jazz» held at the CECATUR auditorium, featuring the «Klaus Mayer Proyect» quintet. I had the pleasure of hearing them perform at La Petite France the night of its «Vive la France» event. Those young men are truly superb… as was the six-course gala dinner, of course. Needless to say, the place was full to capacity and everyone had a great time.

Every year on June 5th, we celebrate World Environment Day. According to the UN’s Environment Programme official web site (www.unep.org), this is «one of the principal vehicles through which the United Nations stimulates worldwide awareness of the environment and enhances political attention and action … Our agenda is to empower people to become active agents of sustainable and equitable development; promote an understanding that communities are pivotal to changing attitudes towards environmental issues...»

Here in Vallarta, the city is purportedly being audited by the folks who will decide if it is a «clean city», i.e.: with sustainable environmental policies. Very commendable indeed, but what about our parks, and the bus situation downtown, the mountains that bleed from the huge open wounds where illegal clear cutting has occurred, and then there’s the still unresolved matter of the city dump. So what is it those folks are checking?

Every other day, there are more reports in the local dailies about the situation of the dump, one day it's yes, the next it's no... And the recycling project is another matter... How is it that other cities in Mexico have been able to implement excellent separating procedures for the residents to use, and we seem unable to do the same? In my humble opinion, all it would take would be strict enforcement, but we all know how strictly the various GOOD regulations are enforced in our little paradise, don't we? Like not driving while talking on a cell phone, like using seat belts, etc.

Three years ago, Coastal University Center biologist and researcher, Jorge Tellez Lopez, said «the conversion of parks into parking buildings could result in an increase of up to 3 degrees centigrade in the temperature downtown.» The expert went on to state that the City’s own Urban Planning Department records show that the temperature downtown had already risen by an average of 3 degrees, rising to 40oC at times, and he expressed his worry about it going up to 43oC (that’s 109.4oF!) by the summer of 2006. Okay, so he was a little off the mark. Here we are, it’s 2008 and it hasn’t reached 43o yet, thank heavens …and Gaïa!

And thank Gaïa …and all of you who have continued to send me emails informing me of their frog «hearings». I too have been hearing them again. You have no idea how happy it makes me.

Friends and I decided to go to La Palapa for brunch last Sunday. I hadn’t done that in ages. I had forgotten how delicious their freshly-baked rolls are, and how pleasant it is to be there, watching the people on the beach. When we add the restaurant’s excellent fare to that, as we look out onto the beach and the ocean beyond, it’s easy to understand why we like to call this place a paradise.

With regard to one of my favorite pet peeves, the employees working at the Mexico City offices of Telefonos de Mexico must have had their hands full last week, when the entire country’s system was overhauled to make way for that «universal number» concept. My colleague at the Tribune had to send me a fax, but my fax number wasn’t working. Instead, there was a recorded message telling callers that the number they had dialed was «out of order» and that they didn’t have to report it to 050. Huh? Who are they to decide that lack of service shouldn’t have to be reported? So I decided to do just that. However, there was no way of getting through; even the recording telling us that all the representatives were busy …was broken!

I guess all this new technology, iPhones and all the others yet to come, are great for the younger generation. Personally, I’m perfectly content with a cell phone that receives calls and with which I can make calls. The biggest progress I’ve made so far was to figure out how to text «OK» and «NO» in response to the text messages I receive from time to time. In the meantime, despite the fact that I purportedly have Prodigy internet service at 1024, upload speed still hovers around 260. I know, I know, they only guarantee «between 256 and 1024… it all depends on the traffic…»

And talking about technologies, I wonder if they’re going to show the new movie that’s coming to town, Journey to the Center of the Earth, in 3-D, as advertised up north. There are so many movies in town which I would love to see, but not enough time to do so before they leave. And besides, all my friends who tell me "I love movies. Any time you want to go, just call me!" do not like action movies like Hellboy or Batman, like I do. And so many of them are only being shown in Spanish because of their rating... I’m looking forward to visiting the new theaters at Galerias Vallarta, as well as the steak house they’ve got there. I understand it’s very good.

I want to thank those of you who have complimented me on my blog. (I have a feeling you only did that ‘cause it’s on line every week, unlike the Tribune…) Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Some of you have complaints, others have compliments.
On a totally different topic, please bear in mind that even if it’s overcast, you can still burn if you’re out on the beach or by the pool. I’ve seen a whole bunch of lobster-red tourists walking around town at the end of a cloudy day. Don’t skimp on the sun block, folks! Remember what that ad used to say: Don’t mess with Mother Nature! Be kind to her, and to each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

Saturday, July 12, 2008

July 13, 2008


A reader called Steve sent me an email that read: «…civilization is not doomed! For the past two nights we have heard frogs croaking all around us at home. Guess the rains have brought them out.»

Another gentleman by the name of Reuben Schneider also wrote to me, in reference to the statement I made in my last article (And the snails are back, too...and naked.) He wrote, «Later, you quote a professor who says: ‘...toads eat slugs...’ Look up slugs. A couple of weeks ago, I saw a frog on a potted plant in «el centro.» This morning I saw one in a garage in Fluvial. I haven’t yet seen or heard the little rain frogs, but they are probably still around.»
I thank you both, Steve and Mr. Schneider, for reading me, and for reassuring me that there are still little froggies around …and «civilization is not doomed!» As far as my mention of the «snails without their houses» goes, of course, it was for fun…

There are also others I would like to thank at this time. People like my dentist whose hands of gold I recommend to anyone who’s ever thought of having implants, or needs them. His name is Dr. Martin Guillen, and his office is located at 311 Basilio Badillo, tel.: 223-0505.

In case you’re wondering, wonder no more. This is indeed an unabashedly blatant promotion of services I’ve experienced within the last couple of weeks, and which I consider excellent.
The next recommendation is Luis. This young man is the hair stylist at Ali’s Beauty Salon & Spa. I finally decided to dye my hair, and have it «styled» - something I haven’t done in years. After reading that letter to the editor a couple of weeks ago –which, by the way, was written by a man!- I figured I would give them a try, for my hair. I walked away absolutely delighted, with my look and with the attention I received. Now I have to make an appointment with their amazing Reiki masseuse next.

I also had the pleasure of bumping into Toody at Ali’s Salon. In case you don’t know her, this is the lady who owns the Bohemio clothing stores, including the one at Plaza Neptuno. If you want something special, a one-of-a-kind item, beautifully hand painted and sewn, drop in to one of her shops.

The other establishment I would like to commend is the River Café. In addition to the excellence of its food and its service, I need to thank the staff publicly for finding my prescription glasses …and for keeping them until the customer (yours truly) called for them. Thank you so much!

And still on good food, that was quite a birthday party for our colleague, Heather Wilson, a.k.a. one of Vallarta’s many «cat ladies». Great food, fabulous atmosphere, everyone was there to celebrate – at Encuentros at 312 Lazaro Cardenas, in the Romantic Zone on the south side of town. It opens at six and happy hour (2 for 1) is from 8 to 10! Tel.: 222-0643.
Also, I tip my hat to Ulf and Bernhard, owners of Vitea, for maintaining their cool, and the superb level of quality –food & service- despite the onslaught of food and souvenir stands all around them… This is the result of our town’s authorities’ recent decision to «clear» the main section of the Malecon, and relocate the vendors (for the Nth time) to its extension. They’ve been promising those vendors a permanent relocation ever since the parking garages were built, and still, to date … nothing.

Sometimes, it seems as if it’s all déjà vu in this little paradise of ours, don’t you think? One of the recent headlines last week read, «Authorities Back Joint Promotion» (referring to Rivera Nayarit and Puerto Vallarta). Hallooo... is this a new concept or what? This is something that has been fought for –and against- ever since I can recall. There was even an agreement signed a few years ago, but it only survived for one year before the petty politicking killed it. So now, as if it were a brand new idea, they’re saying that Puerto Vallarta and its neighboring community of Bahía de Banderas on the north coast of the bay, in the state of Nayarit, across the bridge over the Ameca River, would benefit more if they joined forces… Back then, the national airlines (Mexicana and Aeromexico) went on record saying that the regional promotion should be for a single tourist destination... (Gee, what a novel idea!) At that time, the head of the Hotel Association had acknowledged that it was «necessary to think of joining forces to gain more, because in the eyes of the world, we look like two children fighting over the same toy.»

A couple of days later, PV’s municipal Director of Tourism reported that Mexicana would differentiate between Puerto Vallarta and Nuevo Vallarta on its flights. The name Vallarta would apply only for Jalisco (?) He added that it had been noted that visitors were upset when they realized that they had been sold on Nuevo Vallarta instead of Puerto Vallarta. He added that in such joint ventures, we should not omit «the right of the tourist to know exactly what each destination has to offer. That is where people are fooled by the way the publicity is handled.» No kidding! Travel agents in Europe, Canada and the U.S. have only one name for all the different communities along the coastline of the Bay of Banderas and it is ...you guessed it! Puerto Vallarta! That’s where the airport that serves the entire bay area is located, at least for now. So what happens? Folks who have been lured by the blurb in the brochures or on the web that tout the «typical Mexican town» with all its related attractions purchase their tickets, unaware that they may end up way out in Bucerías or Nuevo Vallarta.

Don’t get me wrong, the entire north coast in Nayarit is very beautiful, the hotels are lovely and the beaches are bigger and wider and whiter than ours, but it’s NOT Vallarta. Many agents don’t even know this part of the world and many others who do don’t want to lose the sale by giving out «insignificant details». (I had a young lady with a delightful toddler sitting next to me on the plane last year. She was told that her hotel, the Decameron, was 15 minutes from downtown Vallarta! Maybe if she took the rapid train through the tunnel under the bay…

Which reminds me of what happened a couple of years back when the municipal authorities went to Spain to promote Vallarta. They came back proudly waving a contract signed by one of the major wholesalers there. What they didn’t know was that although the plane did indeed land at our one and only international airport, the passengers were all whisked off to the Riu in Nayarit… Topic to be continued...

About foreign places, I wonder what Beijing is going to do if their experiment to reduce the level of pollution in their city fails. They’re going to close down all construction sites and prohibit all vehicular traffic for one day to see if they can bring the level down to World Health Organization standards. If they fail, as one British TV announcer stated, the endurance events will be cancelled and the Games will "choke". And you thought we had problems here, in our beloved PV?

I’m running out of space, dear readers. So go out there, enjoy yourselves, take care of each other and consider sharing some of your good fortune with the less fortunate.

I will leave you this week with another great quote from P. J. O'Rourke: "Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power." Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

July 6, 2008

I really get a kick at this time of year with all the national celebrations... first the Canadians, then the Americans, and then the French. Every year, I wonder the same thing: how is it that so many countries celebrate their great day in the spring or summertime? Are there countries that celebrate their independence in the dead of winter? There must be, I just don’t know which ones they are. Every year, I pose the question, but no one has been kind enough to give me an answer. Perhaps I should just ask the Internet god, then I would only have to go through some 200 plus countries to find out…

As the Tribune goes to press on Thursday, and Independence Day falls on Friday this year, we won’t be able to give you a report of all the fun at the PV Beach Club, El Barracuda, or Steve’s until next week. If any of you have photos of any of the events, or even better, all of them - including the golf, just send them to our editor! And if you want to add your own comments, go for it!

Our sister publication, the Spanish-language Tribuna de la Bahía, has been running an ad recently, asking readers to send in whatever they have to report, which they consider of importance to others. Similar to when CNN started asking its viewers to send in their videos… Well, the response took a few days, and now the paper is publishing some of what has been coming in. Great stuff!

In case some of you thought that the foreign community was the only one to complain about the various «irregularities» occurring around town, let me tell you: It ain’t so!

Marco Martinez Moreno wrote in: «We all agree that what has been happening to Vallarta is a real pity: from the destruction of its charm with the new high-density developments to the overwhelming violence. How are we commoners responsible? In every way: they sold us a bag of goods and we bought it; we chose our leaders and did nothing, absolutely nothing to help the town that saw us grow up. Today, amidst a sea of laments about the insecurity that has overtaken the port, I ask myself, who will be able to help us? They quickly set up operations to combat the delinquency… But why close the barn door after the horse is gone? Does all this paraphernalia on the part of the authorities help in any way? It takes one hour to get from the airport to Nuevo Vallarta! And are we any safer? The patrols only intimidate, their results are null in comparison with the disaster they are causing among civilians…» And so on…

Congratulations, Señor Martinez! I just hope someone in City Hall reads you ‘cause what has been going on there has reached the point of ridicule, way beyond the definition of kafkaesque (characterized by surreal distortion). I don’t think that Franz Kafka would believe the stuff that makes the news in our little somehow-soiled paradise.

Let me give you an example: The head of inspectors at City Hall was «removed» from his job last Tuesday …but not from the municipal government. Accused of alleged corruption, he was moved to the department in charge of acquiring the ISO 9000 certification (!!!), within the Department of Urban Planning (also rife with accusations of corruption). The gentleman considers the move to be a promotion as he will now have even more responsibilities than before… As they say in español: incredible!

In the meantime, the youngsters who work so hard for the Health Department, in the heat of the day, going from house to house to make sure that the little glass in which you’re starting a new shoot -waiting for it to sprout roots- has some of that dengue mosquito-killing pellets in it, can’t do anything about the constantly expanding mosquito nurseries thriving in the swimming pools of abandoned properties…

The crickets are back in force, but even with the rain and thunderstorms we’ve had already, there hasn’t been much relief from the heat, other than knowing that 90oF here is better than 90oF in New York City any day! Nevertheless, the mountains are already green and clean and one day last week, we could even see from one end of the bay all the way to the other at Punta Mita. Beautiful. And the snails are back too. They’re very healthy this year, big and fat ...and naked. What do they do with the houses they usually carry around on their backs? Come to think of it, I never did get an answer from Prof. Cupul about that either… One worrisome aspect: I haven’t seen or heard a single frog this year.

Ten years ago, Professor Donella Meadows wrote: «Around 1990, herpetologists began noticing an alarming drop in frog and toad populations ... in just about every part of the world… Though they have thrived on earth for millions of years, frogs are especially vulnerable to environmental disruption… incredible environmental sensors. Their decline should be a canary-in-coal-mine sort of wake-up call.

Why are they declining? Habitat destruction is the most obvious cause. The U.S. has drained or filled half of its wetlands. Watery places that remain are likely to be polluted. Spraying for insects not only poisons frogs directly, it also wipes out their food supply… What does seem clear is that when we humans spray poisons and send waste out through pipes and bulldoze land around, we push into the homes and food supplies of other creatures… I could point out how scary that is, because what poisons other creatures can also poison us. I could point out how stupid that is, because those creatures are economically valuable. Frogs eat insects, toads eat slugs in my garden, amphibians feed fish and birds and mammals, they are the source of some remarkable chemicals, including painkillers and antibiotics. But what I mainly feel is how sad that is, the thought of not having these humble, damp, jumpy animals as companions in the world. Not having bullfrogs for my dog to scare up and send plopping into the pond. Not looking forward through the long New England winter to the sound of the peepers on the first warm night of spring.»

They say that when the frogs go, so goes mankind… Sure hope they’re wrong on that one! And please, if you hear frogs near your place, let me know. It’ll make me feel better.

Meanwhile, once again I have to make plans to leave this paradise for a few days, on a business matter that comes up regularly every year around this time. Once again, I did my plane ticket and price research on line. Being an optimistic (believe it or not…) I thought that I could get a cheaper ticket, considering I was reserving two months in advance – before fares go nuts! First, I found out the same as last year: tickets to Vancouver, B.C. were going for U.S.$ 450 ± while those to Montreal cost $700. Mind you, I’m not complaining, considering that it used to cost $1,000. or so. But still… For our readers who can’t visualize the map of North America in their mind, take my word for it when I tell you that the distance between PV and Vancouver is the same as PV to Montreal... The three cities form an equilateral triangle, except that it costs way less to get to B.C. Why is that? And why has there been no detectable movement in the matter of air fares anyways? All the Mexicana and Aeromexico flights coming down here are full and the hotels are three-quarters empty, if not worse. But then, we’ve all known about that phenomenon for a long time now. It happens every year at Christmas time too.

Until next time, I also wish you all a great week, and while you’re at it, why not treat yourself to something sinfully, deliciously French this weekend... on the occasion of Bastille Day? Viva Mexico! Vive La France! A la prochaine! pvmom04@yahoo.com