Friday, January 18, 2008

Jan. 19, 2008


Sometimes, the muse on which we depend for inspiration in order to produce something half-decent …just doesn’t appear. I couldn’t tell you if she just takes off for a well-deserved vacation or if she does it on purpose, but the bottom line is: she just doesn’t appear. That’s when I toy with the idea of not handing anything in for that particular issue. And then one of my readers will send me an email, or I’ll witness something out of the (surreal) ordinary we live every day in this little paradise-turning-into-a-city, and I can give it a try once again.
That’s exactly what happened this morning when I was awakened by a flock of birds flying over the house, chirping away excitedly, loudly - and I mean loudly! It was as if they were conducting an extremely animated meeting as they were traveling. Perhaps they were returning from a little foray up in the northern states of Mexico, having decided that the 0oC climate up there wasn’t exactly to their liking, and even the unusually cool nights we’ve been experiencing down here were better than that. I don’t know. All I know is that the ruckus they were causing awakened me. At least it’s nice to know that we still have some birds here. Most of their habitat has been destroyed over the last year or so by the mega condo complexes being built all the way up the mountainsides, and their songs have been heard less and less frequently in this part of town.

Then, as I turned on my computer to check my email, with a cup of nice strong Starbucks coffee to warm me and wake me up, I found a message from one of my regular readers which I want to share with you. Mark wrote: «Question ... do you know why the Starbucks (omg, how great they are finally here!!) don’t have bathrooms in their stores? Neither the one in Centro nor the Peninsula have them ... is there not some city code that requires them? I hear so many tourists asking and others demanding. Thought maybe you would know ... cuz then you know so much! Was at Immigration January 7, the day they reopened after being closed since December 20th ... what a line! But, then to all the whiners ... I just smiled and said «Oh, but they have come soooo far in the past 10 years!»

So? Does anyone out there have the answer to Mark’s question? I don’t. Guess I don’t know «so much» after all.

And then, too late to be inserted in the «Letters from Readers» section in this week’s issue, I got another email from a lady named Jodie that read as follows:
«I have lived full time in Vallarta for the past 24 years and have always had good service from the merchants in this town, until recently. I am 76 years of age, a woman living alone with my dog and cat and a TV is a big part of my life. On October 20th, due to the fact that my old TV finally gave up and at the suggestion of a Mexican friend, I went to Electra located behind Sam’s on the road to Pitillal and purchased a new Phillips TV. For cash. Exactly 2 months and 4 days later, on Dec. 24, it conked out. On Dec. 26th, with the help of my Mexican friend, we returned the TV to Electra. After and hour and a half, they told us they would be in touch. To date, Jan. 15th, three weeks later, I am still without a TV (all during the holidays) and have received no satisfaction from Electra. I would like to advise any and all, expats, Mexicans, visitors, etc... Do not purchase from Electra! This would not happen with any other merchant in PV or the U.S. or Canada.»

Which makes me wonder: Don’t these establishments realize that such poor service is going to result in a loss of customers? Especially now that the competition is becoming so fierce, what with Gigante and Wal-Mart and Sam’s, and the soon-to-open Costco? There are more and more places for customers to purchase appliances …and electronics. I would think that the smaller businesses would make a concerted effort to offset their prices with better customer service, but then that’s only my humble opinion.

Now that my out-of-town friends have left after three fabulous, event-filled weeks, I’ve been seeing my local friends with whom I had very little contact over the holidays. (They too were busy with visiting relatives and friends…) I had the chance to have dinner at Barrio Sur which, as I mentioned before, came highly recommended to me by others. Their praise was well deserved.

Here’s a restaurant that should really have much more clientele than they do. Yes, they’re a whole half-block from Olas Altas, but believe me when I tell you it’s worth the extra twenty steps or so.

Some will recall that the property used to be Hank and Conrad’s famous «Chiles». Then it changed hands and the new owners kept the name, but not the menu that had become such a favorite among both tourists and locals. Now it’s all changed. New name, new menu, new ambiance, good music, great food and excellent service. I’ll tell you more about our dining experience in another issue, but for the time being, I do recommend it most highly to you all. Try it, you won’t be disappointed. They’re at 122 Pulpito, open for breakfast and dinner every day except Sundays.

There’s one thing more I want to share with you about this place. The names of the dishes on the menu are very humorous - IF you understand Spanish. One of them is called «Cojones Verdes», which we could translate politely as «green testicles». Outside the restaurant, there’s a huge tree laden with small, round, light green fruit, whose exterior skin resembles peach fuzz. Many have fallen to the ground, on the sidewalk and street below. Some have cracked open, revealing a fig-like interior. We asked the restaurant manager if he knew what they were. He didn’t. Perhaps they’re «cojones verdes», we suggested. Passers by all turned around, wondering why we were all laughing so heartily.

Here’s to a wonderful week to all of you, dear readers! Take good care of yourselves and of each other. Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com

Jan. 12, 2008



What a wonderful week it’s been! Great fun, great company, great food. The season has really taken off in this town, especially with all the new shows at Santa Barbara (wait till you see the new version of «The Return of the Phantom»!!! It was a full house on opening night - again.) The Bingo games are up and running, as are the Charity Nights at Banana Cantina, everyone is getting ready for the upcoming big do for the R.I.S.E. children’s shelter and the Art Walk galleries are drawing more renowned artists and consequently more visitors each week.

My friends and I completed our dining binge before they left, Barry wasn’t going to leave Vallarta without sampling Carmen’s famous Chile en Nogada at El Arrayan, followed by an Italian feast at Espresso, and concluding with a total pig-out at Hacienda Alemana Frankfurt’s buffet of German delights on Saturday. I don’t think I need to eat for the next month or so.

The readers of this column are a very interesting, mixed lot indeed. Among the locals, there are those who voted it as the number 2 item (with the «Letters from Readers» section voted No. 1) they read in the Tribune, in a survey conducted by the folks at Tribuna de la Bahía a while back, and then there are those who read it solely to find something to criticize.

There are folks in this town -they know who they are- who claim that their decision to move to Vallarta was taken as a consequence of getting «hooked» on my weekly blather.

There are those eagle-eyed readers who catch every mistake I make –and immediately point them out to me-, such as my screw-up of the punch line to my story about our new puppy last week, which obviously should have read «He’s a she!» instead of the opposite.

And then there are those who completely and totally misinterpret what I write. One such reader sent me an email this past week in which he asked, «Would you please stop your whining about vallarta (sic) and mexico (sic)? Face (sic) it, if they were at the same socioeconomic (sic) level as canaduh (sic), you wouldn’t be here.» Does this person know what «socioeconomic» level I belonged to in «canaduh»? Hasn’t he noticed that I’ve never «whined» about either Vallarta or Mexico? Oh, yes, I’ve bitched about Telmex’ policies, and Santander’s methods of granting unsolicited credit cards – among many others – but never about this town …or Mexico as a country. What kind of masochist does this person take me for? Why would I work so hard at acquiring a Mexican citizenship if I didn’t love this country and my life here?

Unlike a number of others who are fleeing from the consequences of some sort of illegal behavior in their country of origin, my record and the credit ratings I’ve established over the last 40-odd years are spotless. And now that I am one year older, and hopefully wiser, I’m proud of that.

Eight and a half years ago, our local activist-par-excellence, Maria Nicolasa Garcia Reynoso, tried to have me deported by accusing me of supporting the local Animal Protection Association (whose founders she also tried to have deported), not paying my taxes, not having a proper working visa, writing about the potholes in town, fomenting a revolution against Telefonos de Mexico, and insulting the entire nation by asking my readers to donate to the Feed the Children organization. Even though she took over the main square for over a week and staged a sit-in at the Immigration Bureau in her attempt, she failed. I was publicly exonerated as there was no truth to any of her allegations. She was a little luckier with her next crusade: the infamous Thomas White, accused of pedophilia, a crusade in which I backed her all the way.


Getting back to our new little puppy, she’s made herself completely at home as a full-fledged member of our menagerie, and the Rottweiler has adopted her as her own baby. Their interaction is a study in how the world really should be: full of love.

Unfortunately, real life is far from that. The Tribune received a letter from a lady, which arrived too late to insert in the appropriate section, but as it is of utmost importance to all animal lovers, I am inserting it here: «Dear Editor, Two dogs have died in one week as a result of eating something in the bushes in the vicinity of Victor’s Restaurant, in Marina Vallarta. The restaurant is located in front of Las Palmas condominiums. In both cases, it was a very painful death which indicates arsenic or something of that nature. Be very careful when walking your dog in that area. We are trying to find out who is doing this and will pass it along when we get an answer. As you may imagine, the dog’s owners are devastated.»

This is not the first time that such horror has taken place in the Marina. The same happened before, a few years ago. There is someone there who obviously hates dogs, so please, dear readers, do keep a close eye on your pooch when you’re out walking him or her, and please, no matter where you are, keep your pet on a leash at all times! My neighbor’s little Yorkie was attacked by a Rottweiler trained to guard, whose thoughtless owner let it out of its yard and into the street - without a leash.That's it for me for now. Remember that you can check out the entire paper online at www.vallartatribune.com Until next time, keep well and take care of each other! pvmom04@yahoo.com

Jan. 5, 2008





By the time you read this, I will have completed yet one more whole year… older... I don't know where 2007 went. It appeared to fly by. I guess that all those articles I've been reading about time going by faster as we get older …must be true.


And it seems that due to some whim of the universe, I've been acquiring more and more pets with every year that I complete.


A couple of years ago, when my beloved Kahlua, my Rottweiler companion of more than eleven years, died suddenly, Enya brought me a kitten she had found in the field. I published her picture at the time and asked my readers to find a name for her. Lucy of CuCu Cabana came up with Suzi CuCu and that's what we called her.


At this time last year, you may recall that Heather (who writes the Pet Tails column) posted a photo of a cute kitten. I ended up with her, and all her siblings.


Now my neighbor stopped me as I was walking down the street on December 31st, to show me a tiny puppy he had found in the bushes, nearly dead. It had obviously been thrown into the garbage heap by some insensitive being. Jon had rescued it, and bathed it -a few times- with anti-flea shampoo. Need I go on? We brought little Mo-Mo (short for Moses 'cause he was found in the bushes - there are no bulrushes in Mexico…) to the vet for his first vaccine and de-worming, and now he's exploring my place. The dogs seem to be accepting him, but the cats… ohmygoodness! Absolutely not!


Heather asked me how many furries I would have if I kept Mo-Mo. I told her, seven, six of which are "rescuees". She assured me that I was still within the "norm" for this town, but warned me not to cross the line like she and Silvia Alvarez did. I'll do my best, 'cause if I don’t I'll have to sell my place and move out into the country to accommodate all these loving little creatures.


That night, as we were sitting watching TV, with the puppy comfortably sleeping on my lap, on its back, with its four little paws in the air, my friend said, "Hey, take a look at this. Mo-Mo is a girl! She's a he!"


None of us had ever noticed the lack of any little appendage, not even the vet. He took me at my word when I told him "macho". So now, we can still call her Mo-Mo, but it will have to stand for something else, like maybe Mojit(a)… We all had a good laugh.


Other than the acquisition of a new family member, the past ten days have been akin to an eating binge for my house guests and myself. When they first arrived, we sat down and composed a list of the restaurants to which they wanted to return, and others they were not familiar with and wanted to try. So, we've ended up with a little of everything as of this writing: fabulous tamales from the various regions of Mexico at Maria Candelaria, a wonderful Mediterranean dinner at ViteA, another at Boca Bento, brunch at Johnny's Diner, Christmas at La Petite France for French, New Year's at Teatro Limon (see separate article / review in this issue), interspersed with lots of tacos and quesadillas at Memo's street stand, and we still have a few to go… Mama Dolores for brunch, Barcelona Tapas for Spanish, Hacienda Alemana Frankfurt for German, Espresso for Italian, Archie's Wok for Thai and Philippine, and of course, El Arrayan for Mexican. Whew! I won't have to eat again for another month.


We also ran to see "National Treasure 2" the day it opened at Cinepolis. Finally, we thought, a movie in English! Obviously, we weren't the only English-speaking folks yearning to go see a movie in a theater 'cause by the time we got there, that function was all sold out. We walked around the mall for three hours, had a dinner of sorts at Soriana, and got back to the theater in time to see the late show. Good, fun movie.


On New Year's Eve, we figured we'd leave Bruce's beautiful new restaurant early enough to go watch the fireworks from the terrace at some friends' home up on the hill, overlooking downtown. Although I really thought we'd done that, it turned out not to be early enough. The traffic coming into town was… how can I describe it? At a standstill. It looked as if everyone who ever owned a car was on his way to the street party along the Malecon and on Olas Altas on the South side of town. To make matters worse, folks had double- and triple-parked along the side streets.


In the end, we did get to enjoy some of the half-hour fireworks show around the bay, and especially the one organized by the City, so it wasn't all bad. Last year, we missed it completely, also because of the traffic.
A gentleman named Les Worley sent us a wonderful photo he took that night. I'm sorry that we cannot reproduce it in full color as his original, but I just want to share it with you anyway. What a great viewpoint he had! Thank you, sir.


The whole driving experience reminded me of the time we couldn't find a taxi on New Year's Eve a few years ago, and I ended up driving some out-of-town friends all the way back to their hotel in Nuevo Vallarta, and then driving back to the south side, alone, at 3:30 a.m. Amazing how totally empty the streets become at that time of night. The only other time I drove around, alone, at that time, was the night my daughter-in-law gave birth to my grandson.


Now I'm looking forward to see all the new shows lined up at the Santa Barbara Theater, especially the Return of the Phantom. I confess, I'm a Phantom "groupie". And the entire schedule looks like it's going to be just as great as it was in November and December.


Please don't forget to join us this Tuesday at 7 p.m. at the Santa Barbara Theater for our weekly Charity Night Bingo Game. Loads of fun, great prizes, all for a most worthy cause - all the proceeds go directly to the Refugio Infantil Santa Esperanza (R.I.S.E.) children's shelter. (And then you just have to walk down the stairs to see Sol's Return of the Phantom!)


According to my colleague, Cia Sun, "this is 2008, and 2 plus 8 is 10. According to tradition, numerology, the Bible and the ancients 10 is fresh starts, new beginnings and new opportunities. Almost a new birth. Let's all pay attention to these new opportunities and see them from new perspectives. Everything that has happened in all our lives has been leading up to this moment."


Have a fabulous week, dear readers, and may the whole year be filled with peace, health and happiness! Hasta luego. pvmom04@yahoo.com